“So at the end of this day, we give thanks
for being betrothed to the unknown.”

~ John O’Donohue

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Most people fear the unknown and long for security. But there’s a reason we call the worst form of imprisonment “maximum security.”

We live in a culture of fear and buy insurance to protect us from the unknown, unforeseen, and unexpected “accidents,” suspecting that the universe is out to get us. We describe the worst calamities as “acts of God,” blaming the Divine – which we are instructed to love – for our worst misfortunes.

No wonder we suffer from what’s known as “cognitive dissonance.”

Wikipedia defines cognitive dissonance as “the mental discomfort (psychological stress) experienced by a person who simultaneously holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values.” 1

Society is riddled with contradictions. We fight for peace. We destroy excess food to keep prices high … while children starve. We ignore the sun and fuel our world with toxic chemicals, then choke on the pollution. Doctors, who’ve survived four years of pre-med, four years of medical school, and three to seven years of residency, graduate with almost no understanding that what we eat affects our health. Simultaneously, they do understand that putting sugar in a gas tank will damage an engine. Every time.

We live in an unconscious trance of cognitive dissonance. This becomes conscious whenever we are “triggered by a situation in which a belief …. clashes with new evidence …” The Wiki article continues. “When confronted with facts that contradict personal beliefs, ideals, and values, people will find a way to resolve the contradiction in order to reduce their discomfort.”

Often the way we reduce our discomfort is to deny the obvious and embrace something we can twist to support our beliefs. The furor over “fake news” these days exposes just how bothersome the truth can be. Why should facts be able to sabotage my personal agenda? That’s fake news!

We struggle for security, for the “good old days” which exist in memory like a fish story, much better in recollection than actual fact. For instance, the idea of making America great again pivots on several beliefs that, together, produce a hypnotizing dose of cognitive dissonance.

1. There was some particular time when America was “great.”
2. There has never been a time that was great for all Americans, unless you ignore slavery, genocide practiced on native Americans, The Civil War, etc.

Here’s another duo of conflicting beliefs:

1. Great as our nation was, somehow we stumbled and are not so great anymore. Statistics comparing America to other countries in many specific areas certainly proves that we have been slipping.
2. We are convinced that this is still the greatest county in the world, based on … our beliefs!

Meanwhile, something else is going on. If we can raise our gaze for a moment and peer above the furor of society’s soap opera, we might notice that 99% of life is continuing as always. They say that the mills of the Gods grind slow but exceedingly fine. Yes, there is a slower rhythm to the natural world. Compare how a tree grows with the steady onslaught of computer and phone upgrades, more frequent all the time. But the tree doesn’t crash.

We can see something different from way up here, a kind of order to everything, including the chaos. Consciousness is orchestrating everything, after all, even what we believe are mistakes and accidents. Everything is an act of God, if we include ourselves in what God is. That only sounds arrogant until we realize it’s actually arrogant to claim an identity separate from God. We are not separate, we are not spectators, we are co-creators, and it’s honest to take responsibility for our creations.

That happens in the ever-present moment which, obviously, is when we are doing our creating. Moment by moment we are expressing ourselves, making choices, doing things, and it all adds up to the reality of “life.” Necessarily, we are always dancing with the unknown and real security never exists in some invulnerable state we can count on forever. Lightning strikes, stocks drop, hearts falter … we never know for sure what’s around the next corner.

So, we have a fundamental choice: embrace the unknown and betroth ourselves to this mystery called life, or flail away in resistance, longing for a security we can never guarantee. The smart choice? As the poet John O’Donohue wrote, we can “give thanks for being betrothed to the unknown.”

Why? Because life is a perpetual journey of discovery, regardless of how firmly we nail things down. Even just the desire for “maximum security” turns out to be imprisonment, but we hold the key to freedom in our own hands: choosing to be fully present and welcoming the unknown.

We can walk without fear in the dark, whistling if we need to, because we know that the sun will rise, the rhythms of the natural world will have their way and, to the degree that we include ourselves, this becomes our way.

References:
1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

“Not all those who wander are lost.”

— J.R.R. Tolkien

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Going straight from A to B may seem the shortest and best route but only when we neglect to take topography into account.

Maps are two dimensional. But they often also describe height, the third dimension, with shading and lines and printed elevations. This is important, because once we start hiking, topography becomes a key determiner for navigation. For instance, we can’t really bore through a mountain and climbing it is equally impractical. We go around mountains and hills, perhaps by finding a valley to follow.

This provides an interesting metaphor for our spiritual journey. And it recalls the story about an enthusiastic student who asked his master how long it would take to achieve enlightenment if he meditated two hours every day. “Five years,” his teacher replied.

“And how long if I meditate four hours every day,” the student asked. His master smiled and said, “Well, then it will take you twenty years.”

His point had little to do with meditation or time; he was exposing the futility of ego ambition and the fallacy of trying to manage our journey at a mental level. As important as meditation is, plus other spiritual practices and worthwhile disciplines, the whole point is to surrender ego identification. Remember, it’s the human ego that likes to take credit for what’s achieved.

In this case, the student was earnestly trying to accelerate his spiritual progress. But his master pointed out that the “I” wanting to do that was the problem! More effort authored by the student’s ego – however appropriate the actions might seem to be – could only serve to slow down his actual progress.

Masters understand that we make the path by walking it. Yes, we follow in the footsteps of sages who have gone before, but they did the same. We can study and theorize and meditate all we want, but putting one foot down in front of the other in our daily lives is how we actually get from where we are now to wherever we would like to go. So, it’s not as important to meditate a certain number of hours a day as it is to “be meditated” (to surrender control) and learn how to stay in that humble state more and more moments of every day. We are not controlling, we cannot control, the process of awakening.

And, there’s no guarantee that the path will be easy. In fact, if it’s the real path, it’s not. The modern mystic Andrew Harvey likes to say that the true path is not for sissies! We know this from experience and we also know that if we don’t quit, we will always learn more from the tough times than the easy ones. Of course, we tend to linger in our cozy, comfort zones. But, when it’s time to move on in life, those comfort zones begin to become uncomfortable. It’s time to let go.

The Buddha said that “You can only lose what you cling to.” One of the most precious things we cling to is our addiction to knowing the way and our fear of getting lost. But the ego needs to get lost! As long as it’s running things we will be running around in familiar circles, deluding ourselves that we’re getting somewhere, like hampsters on their wheels, running furiously and going nowhere.

Instead, we can enjoy the feeling of getting lost, of wandering and wondering and letting go to another kind of guidance. How often has something surprisingly helpful occurred when we did exactly that? How much more could happen if we did it more often? Those were trick questions, reprising the student inquiring of his teacher. Did you notice how easy it was for your ego to get in gear and apply this new idea. “Oh, I will now get lost regularly and that will help me on my way.”

It’s healthy to notice our own ego machinations and have a good laugh at ourselves. Many on the spiritual path become obsessively serious but let’s remember than God is the original trickster! This is a game, a joke, a play in consciousness. If God’s not taking this seriously, why should we?

That may sound irreverent and callous, given the suffering in the world but we can’t help those sinking in quicksand by jumping in ourselves. No, we learn how to stand solid on the shore and reach out a hand to those in need. But they must reach towards us too and accept our help. Otherwise, we might lean too far and fall in ourselves. That’s not going to help us move along the path and it won’t help them either!

We continue. That’s one of the ancient definitions of “tantra,” to continue. Because the path goes on forever.

References: